we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
