porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
