So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
