it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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