News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize