:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
