Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
