Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
