Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize