butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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