I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
