thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
