i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
