she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
