Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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