FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
