So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
