Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
