she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
