I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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