i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
