If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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