Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize