I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
