Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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