Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize