dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
