After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
