just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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