omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize