What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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