we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
