the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
