Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
