She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
