did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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