i already hear my dad disowning me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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