You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
