I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
