He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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