You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
