Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
