Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
