He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
