My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
