I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
