How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
