I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
