I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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