So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
