Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
do herpes really smell.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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