xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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