Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
