He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
