I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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