you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
