mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
