thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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