i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
