the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
